Beverly's Blog

Yes indeedy...I am writing this days, just not in my blog. This Wednesday will be the halfway point in the NaNoWriMo challenge of writing 50K words in one month. As you can see from the little counter down there on the right, I'm almost at 20K. I think that if I stick with it, I should be able to hit 25K by Wednesday.

My biggest problem at the moment is keeping the voices at bay. I think any writer will tell you that self-doubt can be a constant companion...perched right on your shoulder as you frankly try to get words down on paper that sparkle and entice and entertain. My little voice is telling me that my story line isn't good. That too much of the story is set some place I've never been. Sigh. But...I will push through and hope that I can silence the voice for a bit when it comes time to start revising. I'm making notes even now on stuff I need to change. Because we're not supposed to revise during this month, I'm just jotting down comments so when I go back to revise, I have some direction already in place.

Haven't had a whole lot of time to read of late. Also it seems that I can't find stuff that really captures me. I've been listening to books on tape as I drive to and from work which has been nice. It makes the 25 minute drive a bit more enjoyable and I'm not so apt to get stressed because I have something to entertain me as I wait for traffic etc. I'm listening to one now read by...hmmm...the actor that played on DS-9. He was the security and could change form, I think. Can't remember his name. It's interesting how even though it's only a solitary reader, they manage to get voices down so that just hearing the dialogue can tell you who is speaking.

Well, must get back to my other writing. :-) It's a bit harder to do today as I have kids here underfoot, but I will persevere!

~ Beverly

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Okay, I finished the book and the ending did not disappoint. By that I mean...it remained true to my expectations which was that the book was just not the best work of Peretti and Dekker. I actually felt a relief to finally get to the end of the book.

I don't normally like to say negative things about an author's books, but this is just more of a warning. If you're expecting a book like Dekker's past ones, this one will probably not be something you enjoy. As a writer I can see how it follows all the "rules" but as a reader, I longed for a connection to the characters. Just one...just one that I could really root for. As it turned out, there was one I sort of liked and had she turned up earlier, I probably would have formed an attachment that would have made the book more enjoyable for me.

I am now reading Showdown by Ted Dekker and though it's grossed me out in spots...I'm enjoying it a lot more. The characters are rich and deep. Very compelling read!

I had an experience the other night that truly made me look just like a stubborn 2 year old! A little backstory...during the summer, we don't have children's programs on Wednesday nights, usually we take them to the park to enjoy the nice weather. Two people are assigned to the duty of watching them. I found that during the course of the summer, I was lingering with the group, socializing, even when I wasn't on duty. On most Wednesday nights there was at least 3 if not 4 of us moms out there, chatting away the hour that others were spending inside in prayer.

The Lord convicted me of this. Unless I was actually assigned the responsibility of watching the kids, it was NOT my place to be hanging around, socializing. That time on Wednesday evening from 6:45 - 8:00 had been set aside for the church to gather as a group to come before the Lord in corporate prayer. It wasn't a time for socializing. It wasn't a time to other things in the church that I hadn't done through my own laziness throughout the week. It was a time to PRAY! I told the Lord that next time the situation appeared to be turning social--even if I WAS assigned the duty of watching the kids--I would remove myself.

Soooo, this Wednesday night that happened. It appeared the situation was going to end up being an hour of visiting, so even though I was assigned the duty of watching the kids, I let the other women know I would be going upstairs to pray if they were going to stay down in the nursery. Unfortunately, I wasn't happy about having to go. I wanted to stay and visit. Sometimes the only time we're together is Wednesday and Sunday. So, yes, I obey the Lord...but did it with attitude.

The upshot was that the women thought I was angry with them...I wasn't. Ah, the spillage from our own issues with the Lord. Thankfully we got it all straightened around. :-) I do have a concern for the women of our church, that they be more eager to pray with the group. It is my prayer that as He wills it, that the Lord will lead others to join us. To convict those who place other things above corporate prayer. My grandfather has often said you can tell the spiritual temperature of a church by looking at its prayer meeting. Sad to say, our church must be cold. :-( Those who come are fervent and longing for God's blessing on our church. I pray that others will soon feel the promptings to come and pray.

I will therefore that men pray every where, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting.

It's not often I write a review for a book before I actually finish reading it, but I'm making an exception this time and will most likely end up with a two-part review.

Here's the publisher's blurb on the book:
A mind-bending supernatural thriller from the creators of This Present Darkness and Showdown.

Frank Peretti and Ted Dekker - two of the most acclaimed writers of supernatural thrillers - have joined forces for the first time to craft a story unlike any you’ve ever read. Enter House - where you’ll find yourself thrown into a killer’s deadly game in which the only way to win is to lose...and the only way out is in.

The stakes of the game become clear when a tin can is tossed into the house with rules scrawled on it. Rules that only a madman - or worse - could have written. Rules that make no sense yet must be followed.

One game. Seven players. Three rules. Game ends at dawn.

I have heard mixed reactions on this book. Some have been really into it, others have been more lukewarm. I personally tended to poo-poo the lukewarm ones because...well, because it's TED DEKKER and FRANK PERETTI! I'm fans of both so really, how could something they write together be anything but wonderful?? Well, in my mind, House is proof that this collaboration can...falter. In this case, the work of these authors together is not greater than their works apart. I fervently hope this is their last collaboration.

What was wrong with this book, you may ask? I wasn't sure about it for the first 294 pages, but it finally came to me as I was debating whether or not I wanted to start chapter 33. Given that blurb from the publisher, you'd assume this was a "stay-up-all-night, can't-put-down" kind of thriller. The lightbulb moment for me was when I realized that I just didn't care what happened to the characters. I certainly didn't care enough to start chapter 33 right then...and clearly I'm more enthused about writing this blog entry than reading chapter 33....

There's several points in the story where it's debated in different characters' minds who should die. Last night I just wanted to see them all perish. I have no connection whatsoever to the six characters I've met so far. I have a feeling that there is a deeper meaning to this story--in fact, I'm sure there is--and it has something to do with taking a look at ourselves and what would reveal itself to us if we were in a "kill or be killed" type situation. But....I still don't care about these characters and that's why the book is lost to me. I will finish it just because it's rare that I won't read a book through to the end. And there's a small piece of me hoping that the ending will redeem this book to me.

Will I read another Ted Dekker? You betcha! In fact, I've got 2 waiting for me when I finish this. Will I read another Frank Peretti? Probably. Will I read another collaboration between these two? Not too likely.

If you haven't read a Ted Dekker yet, don't start with this one! Read Thr3e. Now that is a ""stay-up-all-night, can't-put-down" book.

Coming soon...House Review--Part 2

Come November 1st I will officially be joining thousands of other writers attempting to complete 50,000 words on a manuscript during the month of November. The timing could be perfect for me, if I really work over the next two weeks. I have a manuscript that needs to be completed and revised. If I just set my mind to getting it done and polished and have a proposal in the mail by the end of October, I'd be in the perfect place to start a new manuscript. In fact, I have a story that has been swirling around in my head for a while now. I think it could be just the one to work for this writing frenzy. It will be the best way to get it all down on paper, that's for sure.

If you're a writer and are interested in joining, go here to get information on signing up. The more the merrier! :-)

Time to pack away the internal editor and just WRITE!

Fingers on the keyboard...Beverly

So we had our first snowfall today. The pic to the left is of my small rock garden and lamp post taken out my second story office window. I'm not a fan of snow. In fact, it's the one thing that makes winter truly unbearable. Thankfully this first snowy blast from Mother Nature didn't dump too much on us. In fact, it should probably melt in the next day or two. It is just a stark reminder of what is just around the corner....WINTER!

The snow has not helped my state of mind over the past couple of days. It's been rough for me as I've been dealing with some stuff. It's the kind of emotional stuff you can't share with just anyone and I was in desparate need of a friend. Thank God He sent someone alongside to support me, give me sound scriptural advice and who had promised to pray for me...all without judging me for what I'm feeling. That has truly been a blessing.

It's hard when stuff like this comes up. I really didn't know where to turn though I knew I was in need of prayer and advice. How thankful I am that God brought this woman into my life. Just being able to share my heart was a blessing indeed.

Still feeling a bit heartsore...Beverly

So I'm sitting here printing out CDs. Not the labels, I'm actually printing these special kinds of CDs on a special kind of printer. They take about 4 minutes each so I kind of have to hang close to the computer/printer. I brought home a really nice laptop from work and this special printer because we need to print out 350 of them. I should have 100 done tonight. In the meantime, I'm trying to find things to do while I wait around. I've read all the blogs I could find for friends and fellow writers. I've played a few games. Surfed all the news sites to see what's happening in the world. Even phoned my mom but she said to call back in 10 minutes because she was on the phone with someone obviously more important than me! :-) So now I'm doing a blog of my own. Not that I have all that much to share...I'm just bored!

It was another truly beautiful day here today. Both Dh and I agreed that if we could find a place somewhere that was like this year round...we'd move! I like the beauty of fall but the leaves blanketing our back yard are not so fun. Sooner or later we're going to have to clear them off...sigh.... The kids only like to rake if they can jump in the piles afterwards. I have trouble appreciating the joy of leaf-jumping when I know that the leaves will all have to be raked up AGAIN afterwards!

Well, it's almost been 10 minutes here so maybe I should try my mom again. And if she's not done with that other person...well, she'll just have to wait to talk to me tomorrow night! :-) Boy, did she raise a kid with an attitude. lol Tell her something she doesn't know. And as I'm sitting here typing this, I'm wondering if my brother would miss this nice Acer laptop from his shop inventory...hmmmmm.... I have a feeling the first thing I'd do if I ever got an advance from selling a book would be to buy myself a snazzy laptop. This one is pretty sweet!

DH just walked in the door with a cup from Tim Hortons...best coffee if you're in Canada...and he brought me a donut too. Sweetheart...but not really what I need!!!! lol :-) My hips don't thank him. hahahahaa....

~ Beverly

We were blessed today by some absolutely beautiful weather. After church today we went with some friends--yes, I do have friends and these two women are among my closer ones--and had a wonderful time at the park. It was warm and breezy with crisp leaves rustling as they blew all over the place. The trees are such beautiful shades of brown, orange, yellow and red. If all of fall were like this, I'd be a happy camper!

We took some walks on the trails at the park, taking pictures and admiring the nice homes that edged the park. At some point, my shoe (which wasn't made for "hiking") slid off the edge of a small dip in the path and boom...down I went! How horribly embarassing! I am a person who tries VERY hard to never do anything to draw attention to myself...especially by doing things like tripping, falling, etc. etc. To have this happen in front of this couple and our brood of kids was rather humiliating for me. I got up and tried to walk off the pain in my ankle. It seemed okay but now that I've been home a while and have been sitting around doing nothing...it's really starting to hurt. I'm wondering what tommorrow will be like. :-(

I'm off to work tomorrow. I'm going to be working 5 days a week now. Should be interesting.... I haven't worked outside the home like this since before my oldest was born...almost 11 years ago! I'll see how I juggle work, church, home...and maybe will have to make some adjustments. I really do want the money though since I want to redo my kitchen. Must keep my eye on the goal...

feeling ever so content in the beauty of the day God gave us today...Beverly

My daughter, Bree, asked me the other day who my best friend was. The question kind of took me by surprise and instead of answering her, I asked her a question in return. Was there anyone in my life who she saw me interacting with that she would classify as a best friend? Her answer...no.

It's not a big surprise, really. My mom has also commented on the fact that I seem to have no really close female friends. I have friends--don't get me wrong--and I'm thankful for them, but I don't seem to have that one person I'd call up on the spur of the moment to go for coffee. Or that I would call up when I needed a shoulder to cry on. Probably the person/people I confide in the most are two women I've met on the internet.

I wonder what it is about me that keeps me on the periphery of the lives of those around me. At times I have cried out to the Lord for a close friend. You know...the Diana/Anne type of friendship. (Anne of Green Gables reference to those who don't know!) But now I seem to have just accepted that a friendship of that nature is not going to be part of my life at the moment. I think it's a fear of being hurt or let down that keeps me apart from the women in my life.

There are times when I've felt that I'm close to certain women and then I hear something that lets me know that some of them got together and I wasn't invited. The first few times it happened, it really hurt and I felt myself withdrawing even more. I've withdrawn quite a bit now--sharing only bits of myself with people. It's easier that way. It's safer that way. And now that I'm a pastor's wife, I feel constricted in what I can share because people have expectations of me--that I'll behave perfectly, that I'll never have issues or problems, that I'll have arrived spiritually. So not true!

If my daughter hadn't brought this up, it probably wouldn't have even entered my thought processes. I've accepted that things are the way they are right now. When I need to share or cry or vent, I call my mom. She truly is my best friend.

I can honestly say that I don't believe anyone--except God--truly knows the depth of my heart and soul. I can hide things very well--I've become adept at that. Now it's just habit. And my life on the periphery isn't really that bad...after all, I have my characters for company and if they spill my secrets or judge me for what I'm going through...I can kill them off! :-) lol

Viewing life from a distance...Beverly

It was my husband's 43rd birthday yesterday so I threw him a party! He is Filipino so I decided the menu would feature foods from the Philippines. Having grown up there myself as a missionary kid, it wasn't too difficult to decide which foods to serve...I just picked the ones I like! lol The final menu consisted of:
* Rice...haha...what Filipino meal would be complete without rice!?!
* Caldereta: a beef dish with potatoes, carrots, peppers, peas and a spicy tomatoey sauce.
* Chicken Adobo: Usually I do this with pork but was having pork in another dish so went with chicken. This has a sauce of vinegar, soy sauce, garlic and spices.
* Pancit Bihon: a dish with fine noodles, carrots, grean beans, celery, and chicken chunks.
* Egg rolls: ground pork with grated carrots, eggs, oyster and soy sauce in wrappers and then deep fried.
* Pork Barbeque: Marinated chunks of pork done on skewers on the BBQ.
* Pan de sal: rolls made from a sweet dough which are a weakness of mine...especially if they are fresh!

Dessert:
* Biko: sweet rice cooked with coconut milk with a coconut milk and condensed milk toppping.
* Ensamayda: sweet dough with a topping of butter and sugar
* Puto: small steamed rice cakes
* Magnolia ice cream: This is the brand from the Philippines and we got two flavors--Macapuno (coconut) and Halo-Halo (mixed fruit)

Punch:
* Mango punch with gingerale
* Guava, Orange, Passion fruit with gingerale

I had invited all the adults in the church which--if everyone had come--would have been about 40+. Thankfully only 25-26 came so we weren't bursting at the seams! Everyone was a great sport about trying new foods and all the dishes seemed to be a hit with someone. The most popular were the egg rolls and the pork barbeque. :-)

It was fun to do this for my Dh, but it was a LOT of work and I'm beat! We also have a TON of food left over so we'll be eating "filipino" for a while to come!